haiz..

dunno.. am happy.. yet. angry at myself..
why?
how could i?
i mean..
i din want it to hpn this way.
but..
why must it?
why can't i be punished?
instd of the person i love?
it hurts..
not the leg..
the heart.
pain pain
ouch??

went to east coast, teach her how to ride bike..
was okay...
den.. slacked ard at one of those lil sheds thgy.
had some.. erms??
play play qurruals??
den...
had to go back... so..
rode back..
she was still.. angry?
at me..
so.. wanted to play play larhs..
turn left.. turn right..
one right turn.. couldn't turn it back in time..
hit the curb..
both flew..
she scraped her right elbow..

what the FUCK was i doing??

i wanna take away the pain..
i hate myself..
how could i?
tears welled up as we rode back..
she din wan me to feel bad..
i understand..
i noe its alrite..
that is..
if its an accident..
but..
its all MY FAULT!!!??
if i din..
things wld be different..

haiz..

im sorry..
im really sorry..

hating myself in progress

thos wondering.. the rest of the day went.. well.. happy.. just.. regreted that one incident..