my life is like a dried up river.. lifeless..

to U:
i noe wad im doing.. wad i did was to rack up the past.. (in a way).. and tt hurted.. it hurts me.. it hurts u.. but rmb tt u got over it.. i din reallie get over it.. the hurt all came rushing back everytime i see u.. ur face.. ur smile.. the way u do things.. it just comes back to me.. tt once it was.. now it isn't.. and probably wun ever be.. i just dunno how to stop it.. u cld get over it cos i mean nth to u... well.. i may mean nuts to u.. but u mean the whole world to me... i dunno why its just this way.. im always out there.. trying to protect u.. behind ur back.. and im the one getting the stabs fm others.. i get scolded.. screwed up.. and all.. but i held on.. cos u meant the world to me.. and i din want those pple who are against u to hurt u.. so i'd rather get myself hurt FOR u.. u dunno tt rite? well.. u dun.. cos i dun want u to noe.. why?? are u worth all my pain and suffering?? am i worth ur pain and suffering? onli i can ans my Q and u ans urs.. i wun noe urs.. and u wun noe mine..

look.. i WANT to hurt u.... i WANT u to be hurt.. why?? look.. im no cold hearted guy.. i have feelings.. and wad im doing is liken to a dagger.. heated to a very high temperature.. and stabbed into my heart.. again and again.. everytime i do it.. but for all the throbbing pain and the alreadi broken heart.. i noe i have no choice or lil choice but to go thru it.. why.. for the obvious reason.. and something u dun wanna noe.. i have my reasons.. i want u to be happy.. i want u to be happy w some guy too.. and im trying my bestest to do it.. honest.. and admittingly.. i AM trying to push u to HIM.. i dun wan u to just be like this.. tho things are over.. it isn't for me.. and a part of u.. i noe it.. now i can onli hope tt my plan.. tho malicious for now.. will enable ur long term happiness.. cos i noe HE will take much better care of u.. dan i do.. HE has been there for u.. almst everytime u needed someone to talk too.. to cry too.. i wasn't there at all.. moreover.. i marred ur heart..i deliberately did tt.. and the feeling sucks.. it makes me wonder do i even care for u.. but i noe.. tt in the end.. u will be happy with this guy.. cos i noe.. i have faith in the both of u.. tt things will work out well.. i've alreadi given HIM my blessings.. i promised him i will not interfer.. tt i will do anything to improve ur relationship with him.. even tho it hurts me like fuck.. im soo sorrie tt i hurt u.. but i reallie dun have anymore choices.. i have to realize tt there's no more chance.. no more hope.. smthg tt u already know.. and tt i can't accept it.. i have to.. smtimes i even wish tt i cld not hurt u.. and thus sparing any hurt to my heart.. but i noe i gotta do it.. i HAVE to do it.. tho it hurts.. cos u will have a much happier future.. and better off dan knowing me.. i promise u.. i wun leave a trace of me behind..
im doing all this.. one reason.. and i hope tt reason will soon come to an end.. why.. cos i LOVE u ..


to U..

I don't wanna make this
Harder than I have to
This is how it has to be
There's so many things I want to say
But you just don't listen to me

I don't want to hurt you
You don't want to hurt me
I can't stand you
And you can't stand me
We can't rearrange
You can never change me
Say goodbye
Nothing I say could change your mind cuz

[Chorus:]
I can't stay
Tomorrow I'll be on my way
So don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed
'Cuz when you wake up
I won't be there

Everything I say
You find a way to make it
Sound like I was born just yesterday
Everything you taught me
Doesn't mean a thing
So I'm going my way

I don't want to hurt you
You don't want to hurt me
I can't stand you
And you can't stand me
We can't rearrange
You can never change me
Say goodbye
Nothing I say could change your mind 'cuz

[Chorus]

This is the last night
That I spend at home
And it won't take too long
For you to notice
Won't take long for you to find out
That I'm gone

---

side note.. william hung is so friggin immature.. and so not talented.. man.. tml retreat.. omg.. stressed........
U.. u better read it man.. noe u'll be gg to retreat too.. if u dun read.. can smone like.. pass it too her?? and HIM..
jie.. heard ur staying in CBC for good.. im sorrie.. i just can't be ard u... hope u'll understand.. sry..